stagnant.

One of the worst feelings is indirection, especially when the sentiment spans both introverted aspirations and extroverted relationships.

It recently occurred to me that my passions in life are not at all framed by my field of study, and that my current undergraduate work does not reflect the direction I'd like to seek. I want to explore the world - from the beautiful geology of Colorado to the incredible cultures and religions of other countries - and exert as much good unto others as I can. I joke about saving the world, but I really would like to go out there and get my hands dirty and make a difference in the fate of the environment. I want to create something out of my own means, write something beautiful and eloquent, do something incredible, run a marathon, fucking do something other than go to class and work at a bank and try to please my loathful parents.

I met some incredible people this weekend. They changed my life. I want to do something.

I recently read a blog entry from a peer only a year older than myself, and it was some of the most incredible writing I've seen in a long time, coming from someone who has a tremendous level of depth and appreciation for the natural world.
I just felt so inferior and stagnant.