myspace blows.

I have decided to upgrade. The discreet cellphone vibration is no longer trendy and so, in my anxiety over being cool, I've made an executive decision to invest in a ringtone.
Ah, but what's this?! Why PAY for ring tones when they're free all over myspace?!

That's right! I am so thankful to ALL my friends-who-are-actually-strangers for sending me so many messages informing me of the free-ringtone miracle. I regret to admit that I was once ignorant of the necessity of the free ringtone in my life, but I have since been enlightened.
The real benefit, though, is not enjoying my brand-new free ringtones, but in spreading the ringtone craze not only to my real friends but to every would-be friend on myspace!
...because apparently the coolest people on myspace are advocates of the free ringtone... and they are above the social norms of actually meeting someone before sending a message saying,
"hey. long time, no talk."

And then, my small friend, you will be targeted and shall experience the splendor of the free ringtone. And you too shall meet everyone you've never known in real life, and pretend that you are their friend.
Just imagine when you can reap the benefits: new friends, free coolness and a lifetime onslaught of cellphone spam.