Conflict with the Christians

Just when I thought I couldn't be any more bitter about religion (more specifically, the organized blindness of Catholicism), it gets better.

I recently found myself attracted to a guy who told me quite up-front that he was a devout Christian who was waiting for marriage and actively looking for that special Good Christian Girl with whom to share it. Cool, I can work with that. Apparently he couldn't.

He basically laid down his (very righteous) perspective, and told me that my lack of devotion to God meant I was going to hell. Even if I am a good person and exhibit strong morals, it's meaningless if I'm not a Jesus Freak. (He actually cited Ghandi as a good example of a damned individual, due the differences in religious beliefs.) He added that when he meets a Good Christian Girl, he is immediately drawn to her merely because of the label, and has dated some very hateful, angry people simply because they shared a similar religious declaration, despite the lack of its sincerity.

I was both confused and offended that he would put the label of "Christian" above genuine acts of goodness... that a cold-hearted God-worshiper is more attractive than an agnostic philanthropist. Religion is, in my rather insignificant opinion, the foundation upon which to make moral decisions. The point of religious beliefs is to make you a better person and exert better things on the world, and if your only aspiration in your creed is your allegiance to that higher figure, without concern for outside goodness, what is the real worth?? Faith means absolutely nothing if is it merely reflected in your dutiful service attendance and smug preachings. In turn, the significance of good deeds is not diminished because they happened to lack God-pleasing reasons. How brain-washed and blind must you be to actually dismiss goodness because it isn't godliness?!

He also went on to say that that was the reason he needed a Good Christian Girl- to enforce the boundaries he can't handle himself. He blamed his inability to control himself on my sex appeal and my lack of morals... even though I'm the one that exhibited self-control. He's a Good Christian Boy who needs other people to reinforce his "rock-hard" morals, and he needs God's word to belittle the morals of others. I may not be a Bible-thumper, but at least I can depend on my moral foundation.

Bottom line: I'd rather be a goddamned agnostic (pun intended) and not only in control of my own decisions but also able to appreciate people for what they do, not what they are. If religion blinds you against genuine wholesomeness, then it is your religion - not the lack of my own - that will lead to your demise.

Fuck, I'm so bitter. I'm still open-minded to other religions (and do, for the record, enjoy exploring them), but I think I'll be forever closed off to Christianity now. I have faced far too much hypocrisy and blind hatred.